A Tale Of Two Prophets

Today, we’re diving into a comparison that might raise a few eyebrows: The prophetic beginnings of Jesus and Muhammad. Buckle up, folks! This ride might get a bit bumpy!

Jesus, Prophet From The Cradle

Let’s start with Jesus. According to the Quran, Jesus was quite the prodigy. Surah 19:30 paints a picture of a baby Jesus who could not only talk but also declare his prophethood right from the cradle.

He said: “I am indeed a servant of Allah: He hath given me revelation and made me a prophet.

Quran 19:30

Imagine the scene: a newborn baby opens his mouth and instead of the usual gurgles, out comes a fully-formed declaration of prophethood. There were many witnesses and all who heard him must have been astounded.

The Quran refers to Jesus as “Kalimatullah” – the Word of Allah himself (4:171). No middlemen, no angels, just direct divine revelations straight into baby Jesus. He was born with the revelation in is mouth. He was the word of Allah, the embodiment of revelation.

Muhammad, The Late Bloomer

Now, let’s shift our attention to Muhammad. His story, is a bit different.

While Jesus’ story of prophethood is found in the Quran, Muhammad is not accorded that same honour and privilege, like some unwanted child. His call to prophethood is relegated to the secondary sources of Islam, in the hadith. The story is found in Sahih Al-Bukhari 6982

Picture this: a 40-year-old man in a cave, minding his own business, when suddenly an unknown being appears and starts manhandling him. No witnesses, no fanfare, just terrifyng abuse.

The angel, apparently not big on introductions, demands that Muhammad read. The hero of Muslims, confused and breathless, admits he can’t read. Does the unknown poltergeist apologize for the misunderstanding? Nope! Instead, he goes for round two, and then round three of supernatural squeezing. The being continues to assault him, strangling poor Muhammad, forcing him to read. What is the purpose for this futile drama? Why did the creature force Muhammad to read? Didn’t it know that Muhammad could not read? And why repeat it three times? As if that was going to cause Muhammad to begin reading miraculously? One has to wonder: didn’t the all-knowing Allah realize his chosen prophet was illiterate? What was the pointless purpose of his literacy test? Seems like an oddly inefficient way to kick off a world religion.

After his encounter, did Muhammad stride out of the cave, confidence radiating from every pore, and ready to change the world? Not exactly. He ran home terrified to his wife, Khadijah, crying, “Cover me, cover me!” It’s less “prophet of God” and more “kid who’s seen a spider in the bathroom.”

Muhammad was so overcome with fear that his terror is vividly described in various hadith narrations: his heart trembled (Sahih Muslim 160a), his heart beat severely (Sahih al-Bukhari 3), his neck muscles twitched with terror (Sahih a-Bukhari 6982), he snorted like a camel (Sahih Muslim 1180a). In fact Muhammad was convinced tha he was demon possessed. (He even tried to commit suicide later on.)

Khadijah, bless her heart, took on the role of mummy to the poor frighetened boy. She might as well been his mother, for she was 15 years older than him. It was Khadijah who tried to convince him that he was chosen. She even drafted her distant cousin Waraqa to help convince Muhammad that he wasn’t losing his marbles. It’s like a first-century version of a pep talk: “You’re not crazy, honey, you’re special!” Waraqa spun some story about “the one who keeps secrets” i.e. Jibreel, who supposedly appeared to Moses. Muhammad had no clue what Waraqa was on about but he swallows the story. (Where did Waraqa get the tale that Jibreel had appeared to Moses? And how did Waraqa identify it as Jibreel when even Muhammad didn;t know who or what appeared to him!)

Six hundred years earlier, the baby Jesus was amazing everyone around him with his revelation and wisdom. No convincing needed, no existential crises, just pure prophetic confidence from day one, while Muhammad had not one witness for his alleged encounter. He only had his wife to pat him on the head and soothe his frayed nerves and she hired Waraqa to assure Muhammad that he was not a crazy nut losing his mind.

Divine Wisdom Download

Here’s where it gets really interesting. While Jesus came born with divine wisdom, Muhammad apparently needed a bit of an upgrade. The story goes that he underwent a sort of “spiritual surgery” to fill his insides with wisdom and knowledge. This disturbing fable is found in Sahih al-Buhari 3207:

The Prophet said, “While I was at the House in a state midway between sleep and wakefulness, (an angel recognized me) as the man lying between two men. A golden tray full of wisdom and belief was brought to me and my body was cut open from the throat to the lower part of the `Abdomen and then my `Abdomen was washed with Zamzam water and (my heart was) filled with wisdom and belief.

Is this story true? It sounds more like a nightmare with Muhammad in a semi-conscious state while major surgery was perfomed on him. Yet, despite this supernatural operation to fill him with widom and knoweldge and faith, Muhammad remained illiterate his entire life. It’s like getting a top-of-the-line computer but forgetting to install a basic text editor. For even with the “miraculous” intevention and depositing of Allah’s wisdom and knowledge, he still could never read or write his entire life. It’s like the job was incomplete.

Did Allah do this same operation for Solomon? King Solomon was of course one of the most wisest man who ever lived. He asked God for wisdom and God gave it to him. Islam teaches that Allah just says, “Be”, and it happens. He could tell Solomon, “Be wise”, and Solomon became wise. Instant wisdom, no invasive procedures required. Why did Allah need to send two “surgeon” angels to cut Muhammad open as if he was the protagonist of some gory horror movie? One can’t help but wonder if there was a divine mix-up in jannah’s operating theater or Allah had used up his quota of “Be” commands for the day.

Conclusion

So, what do we make of all this? On one hand, we have baby Jesus, the prodigy prophet, speaking wisdom from the cradle itself. On the other, we have Muhammad, the reluctant recipient of rough angelic encounters, doubting his own calling, leading to him becoming suicidal. Why?

Jesus was a prophet as a one day old baby, but Muhammad was 40 years old when he was allegedly called to be a prophet. According to Quran, Jesus was given revelation, no middle man or angel. Why did Muhammad have to live 40 years as a pagan before becoming a prophet? Muslims will object to the fact that Muhammad was a pagan polyheist among his Quraish tribe. But according to Allah himself Muhammad did not know monotheism, nor religion.

And thus have We, by Our Command, sent inspiration to thee: thou knewest not (before) what was Revelation, and what was Faith...

Quran 42:52

According to Tafsir Ibn Abbas, Muhammad was ignorant of monothesim: “(Thou knewest not what the Scripture was) you did not know what the Qur’an was before the coming of Gabriel to you nor did you know how to recite the Qur’an before it came to you, (nor what the Faith) nor did you know the call to Allah’s divine Oneness.

There was no doubt as to the prophethood of Jesus. But Muhammad himself doubted his own calling.

Why was Muhammad’s call to prophethood surroundedy such futile drama while Jesus declared his prophethood right in the cradle? Muhammad was crying like a baby while the baby was speaking like an adult! There is something remarkable and yet humiliating in the story here. Why didn’t any angel come and squeeze Jesus or Moses or Abraham in their call to prophethood? Why did he abuse Muhammad alone in a dark cave?